whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
