There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
