I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
