I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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