sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
