My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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