thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
