didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
