Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
