wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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