3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
