dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
