i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize