my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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