he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
