Im at strip club and am horny
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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