Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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