I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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