If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize