god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
