I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
