u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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