I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
