found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
