yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
