Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish I could punch you in the face.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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