We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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