I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just cropdusted the office
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize