Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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