Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
