i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
