I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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