you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
