the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
