Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
