Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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