In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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