she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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