He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
