His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
we should paint friendship bongs
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