barbara walters just said penis...
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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