They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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