Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize