I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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