Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
