what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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