Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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