We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize