he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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