If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
