Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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