I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
