If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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