your thong is hanging out like whoa
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We are all done wearing pants today
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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