Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
