Where did you get a picture of my penis
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I party with great urgency now.
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