Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
