what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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