Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
