I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
